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Anxiety
As I stand my body starts to shake,
My feet, my legs, my hands and arms.
Everything seems to be in it’s path.
I start to get hot, then cold, then hot,
My temperature can’t seem to settle.
The walls start to close,
Start to swallow me whole.
Sometimes I forget walls can move.
I notice my breathing,
I start to hyperventilate.
I have trouble catching my breath.
The world spins in circles,
In squares, triangles and
Other shapes it seems.
I hide, try to hide it but
Can only hide for so long.
Someone will notice.
Someone will see.
The shaking slows it nearly stops,
My temperature settles,
The walls move apart.
Just when I think it will be ok
It comes back, It comes back
To say “hello, I might just stick around.”
Eventually energy goes,
Energy has somewhere else to go.
It doesn’t seem to like me anymore.
I want to hide,
To disappear and leave the anxiety ,
Leave it all alone in a dark room.
Just so it can feel what It is like.
To feel alone, to feel helpless,
To feel like nothing will help, ever.
Just have to ride the waves like a surfer.
Sometimes it is a smooth ride,
Sometimes it is so rough
The calm seems to have vanished forever.
Will it end, ever.
Will it continue day in, day out,
Day in, day out.
Until I loose all hope
Thankfully this one passed
Thankfully this one decided,
That I have had enough.
It gives me a break and departs.
I have won the battle,
But the war isn’t over.
I now await the next one.
The next turbulent ride,
that turbulent ride that
Decides for itself
When I have had enough.
Anxiety, you can now sleep.
For I certainly will be
Before I have no energy left to give.
Cindy Richmond
Possibly early 2011
My feet, my legs, my hands and arms.
Everything seems to be in it’s path.
I start to get hot, then cold, then hot,
My temperature can’t seem to settle.
The walls start to close,
Start to swallow me whole.
Sometimes I forget walls can move.
I notice my breathing,
I start to hyperventilate.
I have trouble catching my breath.
The world spins in circles,
In squares, triangles and
Other shapes it seems.
I hide, try to hide it but
Can only hide for so long.
Someone will notice.
Someone will see.
The shaking slows it nearly stops,
My temperature settles,
The walls move apart.
Just when I think it will be ok
It comes back, It comes back
To say “hello, I might just stick around.”
Eventually energy goes,
Energy has somewhere else to go.
It doesn’t seem to like me anymore.
I want to hide,
To disappear and leave the anxiety ,
Leave it all alone in a dark room.
Just so it can feel what It is like.
To feel alone, to feel helpless,
To feel like nothing will help, ever.
Just have to ride the waves like a surfer.
Sometimes it is a smooth ride,
Sometimes it is so rough
The calm seems to have vanished forever.
Will it end, ever.
Will it continue day in, day out,
Day in, day out.
Until I loose all hope
Thankfully this one passed
Thankfully this one decided,
That I have had enough.
It gives me a break and departs.
I have won the battle,
But the war isn’t over.
I now await the next one.
The next turbulent ride,
that turbulent ride that
Decides for itself
When I have had enough.
Anxiety, you can now sleep.
For I certainly will be
Before I have no energy left to give.
Cindy Richmond
Possibly early 2011